Being more self confident can be effortless if you are willing to put bad thoughts out of you head. You are the only person who knows what you think of yourself. In trying to be more self confident try these easy tips to help you get back on track.

1. Become really good at something

This same advice can really boost your confidence level. It could be anything you want. Having something that you master will immensely help you to build your self-esteem because you’ll feel like you’re someone who’s competent and skillful. You’ll see yourself as someone who knows how to handle what life throws at you because you have something to be proud of. You can say “I am good at X” and that’s really how you can shatter that belief that you’re not good at anything.

Being good at something will give you the proof you need to start seeing yourself as someone who’s worthy and competent.

Action step : Master a new skill

2. Forgive yourself for past mistakes

We all make mistakes, I’m sure you’ve heard it before but why don’t you apply it ? Think about it. We all as human beings make mistakes, why do you always beat yourself up when doing small mistakes then ?

Logically speaking, after a mistake is made the best possible thing to do is to think why that mistake happened, learn the lesson, and avoid it in the future. That’s it !

It’s time for you to let go of the past mistakes you did, and here’s how. Grab a pen and paper, write all the mistakes that you’re ashamed of, one by one. Recall what happened with each mistake, and under each mistake write the lesson that you got from it.

Think this to yourself “I made mistakes in the past, and I totally fogive myself for it. I am human and I make mistakes”.

Don’t just think about it but really internalize the feeling. Really feel your own forgiveness towards yourself. Let it go !

For example, I let a lot of people take advantage of me in the past, I was a doormat. The lesson from that is You should always put your own comfort before anyone else’s needs. It’s me first, then other people. Not the other way around.

To sum up, make a list of your past mistakes, and under each mistake write the lesson that you got from it. Look at it very well, learn the lessons so that you won’t do it again, and then throw that paper for good.

Now you got the lessons, no need to feel bad again. You did your job.

Action step : forgive yourself for past mistakes.

3. Use your mistakes to guide you

Basically when you make a mistake don’t start saying “I’m worthless” “I’m useless” “I’m a piece of shit”.

Here’s how you can use your mistakes to your advantage. From now on, when you make a mistake think about it this way “Ok I made a mistake. What can I learn from that and how can I improve ?”

For example, if you suffer from terrible relationships. You could ask yourself that question and maybe you’d discover that you’re terrible at social skills. The next question would be “How can I improve ?” The answer is “I’ll talk to more people and read books about it so that I can learn”

Do you see the difference ? The old method says “You suck” but the second method says “How can you become a better person ?”

Action step : Ask yourself “What can I improve” Instead of deprecating yourself.

4. Put your own needs first

This means that you should never do anything because you feel pressured to do it. Maybe you’re doing something you’re uncomfortable with so that your friends think your cool, so that your family is proud of you, or so that you can be loved.

You know what ? You matter. You are human. You have opinions, feelings and plans for your life. This is your life. You can use positive thinking to help you transition into the person you want to be.

You are the hero of the story. And since you are a person, you have every right to put yourself and your needs as a priority. Don’t let anyone take what’s yours. They’re not better than you. Always stand up for yourself.

You matter just as much as other people.

Action step : Never do anything uncomfortable for someone else.

5. Wear clothes that fit

This will sound weird but when you wear clothes that fit you perfectly you feel really good about yourself.

Action step : Wear clothes that fit you well.

See also : 4 Easy Ways to Win at Self Confidence

A side note :

I just wanted to point something out to you. This is the thing that made me realise my own worth.

You’re reading this article about self-esteem right ? This means you’re trying to improve yourself as a person right ? You know what ? Most people in the world will never try to improve themselves like you’re doing right now. Most people don’t have the self-awareness or the intelligence to do what you’re doing right now. You might be one of the 5% in the world that are actually nor interested in other people but are actually trying to change themselves.

You have the ability to positively change, and that’s a quality that all of the people that have been putting you down will never possess !

Remember, you’re the hero of your own story so own it !